Jokes
100+ Hilarious Big Head Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches (2023)
Here we bring you some seriously funny big head jokes to make you laugh out loud. Even the experts say that a great sense of humor is related to better coping skills when it comes to higher self-esteem and stress. You can also tackle mood swings with jokes. Just like other skills you need to survive, good jokes are part of a child’s brain development. If a child is growing up in an environment where the family loves to tell good jokes then the child tends to have better social skills.
A good laugh releases feel-good chemicals in the brain, getting rid of anxiety, irritation, and depression. Additionally, knowing good jokes will help you make a good impression in the public gathering. Even if you want to connect with kids, making them laugh will break the ice and make them feel included. The art of delivering a good joke is in itself a task. Continue scrolling to check some hilarious big head jokes.
Jokes are often regarded as a quick way to learn small things such as spelling, the sounds of a certain word, and the meaning of it. I know they are corny but a great way to teach kids about new things and phases. Many teachers are now opting for one-liner jokes as a way to teach kids about new things and improve their General Knowledge.
Everyone knows the best way to learn new things is through fun and faster way. First, tell a joke and let the kids warm up, and then use the same joke to make kids learn about new grammatical structures and expressions. Using more examples like these will make learning exciting and full of fun. Apart from that, jokes can help you feel good and have a great time with your peers. A good way to start a conversation with a stranger or new group when you join a new office. Listed below are some of the hilarious Big head jokes that you can use to make people laugh-
Hilarious Big Head Jokes
Why did the Big Head become an astronaut? Because they wanted to explore the space that their head takes up!
How does a Big Head find a hat that fits? They have to custom order it from the circus!
Why did the Big Head refuse to go on a roller coaster? They didn’t want to risk their head getting stuck in the safety bar!
What did one Big Head say to another at the party? “I hope they have a buffet, my head needs its own plate!”
Why did the Big Head go into the restaurant business? They wanted to create a menu with “extra large” portions for themselves!
How does a Big Head shop for sunglasses? They have to go to the welding section and pick up a visor!
What did the Big Head say when asked if they could join a boy band? “Sorry, my head takes up too much spotlight!”
Why did the Big Head become a weather forecaster? They always know when it’s going to rain because their head acts like a built-in umbrella!
What do you call a Big Head at the beach? The shade provider for everyone around them!
Why did the Big Head join a marching band? They wanted to be the bass drum without needing any instruments!
How does a Big Head measure success? By the number of mirrors that can fit their reflection!
What did the Big Head say to the small hat? “I’d wear you, but I think you’d get lost on my head!”
Why did the Big Head win the staring contest? They had an unfair advantage with their enormous eyes!
What did the Big Head say when asked if they could play basketball? “I’d love to, but I’m already a walking hoop!”
Why did the Big Head become a painter? They wanted a canvas that could handle the scale of their head!
How does a Big Head use a selfie stick? They don’t need one! Their head naturally fits in the frame.
What did the Big Head say when asked if they could be a runway model? “Sure, as long as they widen the catwalk!”
Why did the Big Head start a gardening club? They wanted to grow vegetables big enough to match their head size!
How does a Big Head fit through a doorway? They have to enter sideways and hope for the best!
What did the Big Head say when asked if they could be a balloon artist? “I think I’d pop more balloons than I could create!”
Why did the Big Head become a judge? They could always see things from a higher perspective!
How does a Big Head go on a road trip? They have to rent an RV to accommodate their headspace!
What did the Big Head say when asked if they could wear a party hat? “I think I’ll just wear the entire tablecloth instead!”
Why did the Big Head become a news anchor? They wanted to make sure their head was always in the frame during broadcasts!
How does a Big Head go through a maze? They just bulldoze their way through!
What did the Big Head say when asked if they could be a balloon animal? “I think I’d end up looking like a parade float!”
Why did the Big Head become a DJ? They wanted to have the biggest headphones in the industry!
How does a Big Head fit in a photo booth? They have to use a wide-angle lens just to capture their entire head!
Your head is so big that underneath your passport photo it reads “to be continued on page 2”
Your head is so big that “lather, rinse, repeat” is just not an option.
Seriously, tell me, just how big is your pillow?
No hang on, I bet that just buy a king sized mattress to lay your head on.
Your head is so big that when it rains your body never gets wet. Ever.
Whatever you do, do not let Luke Skywalker see your head, he may fly his spaceship into your ear.
Your Head Is So Big Jokes
Your head is so big that your right ear is in a different time zone to your left.
Seriously, tell me, just how big is your pillow?
No hang on, I bet that just buy a king sized mattress to lay your head on.
Your head is so big that your right ear is in a different time zone to your left.
Your head is so big, you could paint a target on the back of it and giants could use it as a dartboard.
Your head is so big that the rest of your body will never get a tan.
Your head is so big that the airlines have to charge you for extra baggage every time that you fly.
You don’t have a forehead, you have more like a 6 or 7 head.
Your head is so big that you got booted from the stadium for blocking the skybox views.
Your forehead is so big that if you had a stroke, it would look like a landslide gone wrong.
Your forehead looks like the bottom of a stingray that 4 fishermen are all trying to catch at the same time.
The good news is that if someone ever insults you, it will never go over your head, ever.
Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it.
Your head is so big, you could paint a target on the back of it and giants could use it as a dartboard.
Your head is so big, it has its own gravitational pull.
Your head is so big, it has its own area code.
Your head is so big, it blocks out the sun.
Your head is so big, it needs its own zip code.
Your head is so big, it can be seen from space.
Your head is so big, it has its own weather system.
Your head is so big, it needs a special oversized hat.
Your head is so big, it’s a tourist attraction.
Your head is so big, it can fit the entire world in it.
Your head is so big, it has its own time zone.
Your head is so big, it could be mistaken for a hot air balloon.
Your head is so big, it could be used as a landing pad.
Your head is so big, it has its own echo.
Your head is so big, it could be a float in a parade.
Your head is so big, it could have its own reality show.
Your head is so big, it could be a billboard.
Your head is so big, it could be a satellite dish.
Your head is so big, it could be a solar panel.
Your head is so big, it could be a moon.
Your head is so big, it could have its own orbit.
Your head is so big, it could be a storage facility.
Your head is so big, it could be a wind turbine.
Your head is so big, it could be a mountain.
Your head is so big, it could be a giant inflatable balloon.
Your head is so big, it could be a drive-in movie theater screen.
Your head is so big, it could have its own national park.
Your head is so big, it could have its own stadium.
Your head is so big, it could be a gigantic bowling ball.
Your head is so big, it could be a giant bobblehead.
Your head is so big, it could be a moon bounce.
Your head is so big, it could have its own set of traffic lights.
Your head is so big, it could have its own theme park.
Your head is so big, it could be a massive balloon animal.
Your head is so big, it could be a planet.
Your head is so big, it could be a giant pumpkin.
Your head is so big, it could be a hot air balloon race.
Your head is so big, it could be a giant bowling pin.
Your head is so big, it could have its own airport.
Your head is so big, it could be a lighthouse.
Your head is so big, it could be a floating island.
Your head is so big, it could be a mountain range.
Your head is so big, it could be a giant watermelon.
Your head is so big, it could be a skyscraper.
Your head is so big, it could have its own parade.
Your head is so big, it could be a golf course.
Your head is so big, it could be a giant billboard for brain power.
Your head is so big, it could be a giant cupcake.
Your head is so big, it could be a football field.
Your head is so big, it could be a giant sculpture.
Your head is so big, it could be a world wonder.
Why did the big head become a comedian? Because it was always ahead of the game!
How does a big-headed person fit through a door? They have to turn sideways and use their ego as a lubricant!
What do you call someone with a big head who’s also an artist? An “ego-centric” painter!
Why did the big-headed person become an astronaut? They wanted to be the first person to walk in space without a helmet… because their head was already big enough to protect them!
How many big heads does it take to change a light bulb? None, they’re too busy basking in their own glory to worry about practical matters like that!
What did the big-headed person say to their mirror? “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the biggest-headed of them all?”
How does a big-headed person exercise? They just stand in front of a mirror and watch their ego do all the heavy lifting!
Why did the big-headed person refuse to wear a hat? They were worried it would cause an eclipse!
What’s the advantage of having a big head? You never need a map because you can always find your way back to your ego!
How does a big-headed person swim? They don’t need to, they just float on their own hot air!
What’s a big-headed person’s favorite type of music? Anything with a lot of “head”banging!
Why did the big head go to the doctor? It needed a prescription for a bigger hat size!
How does a big-headed person handle a small problem? They magnify it with their ego until it becomes an insurmountable obstacle!
What’s the big-headed person’s favorite accessory? A “hEgo” bracelet!
Why did the big-headed person start a garden? So they could grow a bigger hat size!
What do you call a big-headed person who’s also a magician? The Great “Egonini”!
How does a big-headed person take a selfie? They use a panoramic camera to fit their ego in the frame!
Why did the big-headed person become a chef? They wanted to create dishes as grand as their own head!
How does a big-headed person enter a room? They have to make sure the doorframe is wide enough for their ego to pass through!
Why did the big head become an architect? To design buildings that reflect their own inflated sense of importance!
What’s the big-headed person’s favorite type of exercise? Mental gymnastics to prove they’re always right!
How does a big-headed person celebrate their birthday? They throw a party and invite the entire world to admire their greatness!
What’s the big-headed person’s favorite word? “I” – it’s the center of their universe!
How does a big-headed person make decisions? They consult their ego for guidance and ignore everyone else’s opinions!
What’s the big-headed person’s favorite sport? “Head” ball!
Why did the big-headed person become a pilot? So they could reach new heights and be closer to their ego!
How does a big-headed person dress up for Halloween? They go as a regular-sized person and pretend it’s a costume!
What’s the big-headed person’s favorite subject in school? Themselves – they’re always top of the class!
What did the big-headed person say to their hat? “I’m sorry, but I think it’s time we break up. You’re just not big enough to handle me!”
How does a big-headed person handle criticism? They deflect it with their massive ego shield!
What’s the big-headed person’s favorite game? “Guess How Awesome I Am!”
How does a big-headed person travel? They charter a private jet for their ego to fly first class!
Why did the big-headed person become a fashion model? They wanted to showcase their head-turning looks!
What’s the big-headed person’s favorite TV show? “Me, Myself, and I: The Greatest Show on Earth!”
How does a big-headed person measure success? By the number of admirers they have!
What do you call a big-headed person who can’t swim? The Titanic, because their ego sinks everything!
Why did the big head start a rock band? So they could have a stadium full of fans chanting their name!
How does a big-headed person go camping? They bring a special tent just for their ego!
What’s the big-headed person’s favorite drink? Ego-ade, the beverage of champions!
How does a big-headed person give a compliment? They say, “You’re lucky to have someone as great as me notice your awesomeness!”
Why did the big-headed person become a stand-up comedian? They thought they were the best joke in town!
What’s the big-headed person’s favorite workout? Lifting their own ego… it’s a heavy burden!
How does a big-headed person handle failure? They blame everyone else and say it was a conspiracy against them!
What do you call a big-headed person who writes a book? An author-titan, because their ego is larger than life!
Why did the big-headed person become a news anchor? They wanted the world to see their face on every screen!
How does a big-headed person solve a problem? They don’t. They wait for someone else to do it and take the credit!
What’s the big-headed person’s favorite animal? The peacock, because it’s a reflection of their own grandeur!
How does a big-headed person give directions? They say, “Just follow my aura of greatness, and you’ll get there!”
We hope you’ve enjoyed reading above mentioned Big Head Jokes.
Deez Nuts is a slang term that is used to butt into any conversation and make a mess of the proceedings. In a purely literary sense, it refers to the testicles and is used to alter or disrupt the flow of any conversation.
The origin of the word can be first traced to an album by Dr. Dre titled ‘Deeez Nuuuts’ which was released in 1992. The song features a telephonic conversation between a man and a woman and during the conversation, the man suddenly cries-“Deez nuts!” and within a year the phrase became a common feature among hip-hop and R&B artists. By 1993 the term appeared in many titles of songs by the rapper A.L.T. and the R&B group Xscape. The term thus became a tool for disruptive interruption of any conversation.
The original mention of the phrase happened in Dr Dre’s song and the phrase continued to be in use for years until 2015 when an Instagram user named WelvenDaGreat uploaded a video that featured himself in conversation with a friend telling a Deez Nuts joke and the video became an instant internet sensation and became viral in no time.
However, it was a strange turn of events that had a twist of irony when Deez Nuts became a Presidential candidate and scored third place in the public polls just behind Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. A 15-year-old Iowa native named Brady Olson registered the pseudonym to vent his frustration against both the two major political parties who were in the fray.
The very fact that something like the phrase Deez Nuts can be inserted in a serious occasion like the US Presidential election caught the attention of the general public. The public even believed that WelvenDaGreat, who created the Deez Nuts conversation banter in his YouTube video, was indeed the Presidential candidate.
With the sudden spurt in Social media platforms often phrases and slang become the trend and widely used in the content which are uploaded on these platforms. Deez Nuts can be used by both genders and is often used as a tension breaker during conversations. It is generally used for trolling or can also be used to show disapproval during any conversation by referring to something overtly inappropriate like a sexual act.
Today Deez Nuts has become a very common online meme and is often also used in prank calls and prank videos. There is no paucity of online memes based on Deez Nuts.
Here is a collection of amusing Deez Nuts Jokes, which have the potential to make you laugh till you are in splits-
Amusing Deez Nuts Jokes To Laugh Out Loud
#1
Hello Darling! I need new sports shoes, Can I get some money from you??
Yes.. But..
Hey, I don’t what to listen to “BUTS” Hmm.
Fine then, I’ll only give you Deez Nuts.
#2
Do you know a guy named Barry?
Yes, I do. Well, Barry Deez nuts!
#3
Do you want to rent a sloop for today?
– Sloop on Deez Nuts!
#4
Hey, I met someone at the store today who said that they were actually ugondese.”
– Where’s that, I’ve never heard of it.
Set location to UgonDeez nuts
#5
Excuse me however do you Bofa?
– Bofa? I don’t think so?
Bofa Deez Nuts!
#6
Where’s your munyayo?
– Huh? What’s that?
DEEZ NUTS
#7
Me: Have you ever been to Chewons?
You: No. What’s Chewons?
Me: Chew on Deez Nuts
#8
Have you ever gone to a trade expo?
– Yes, I love expos.
#9
Are you going this afternoon?
– Going where
Down on Deez Nuts!
#10
Me: Have you ever been to Chewons?
– You: No. What’s Chewons?
Me: Chew on Deez Nuts!
#11
Hey, what’s 4*2? – 8. why?
You eight Deez Nuts!
#12
Do you prefer the Yankees or the Expos? – Expos Deez Nuts!
OR
Yank on Deez Nuts!
#13
#14
Can you name a state that starts with a ‘K’ besides Kentucky?
– No, what?
Have you heard of the state, Kandeeznutsfitinyourmouth?
#15
Do you like riding on trains?
– Yes.Because you can ride on Deez Nuts!
#16
Do you want me to buy one of these?
– Yeah sure
How about two of Deez Nuts.
#17
I am so sick of this. This sucks!
– What sucks?
You suck on Deez Nuts!
#18
Me: Do you find parodies funny?
Friend: Yeah, sometimes I do.
Me: Well, how about a pair of Deez Nuts Enya Mouth?!
#19
Do you want to come with me to the West Indies?
– The West Indies?
#20
You can’t have my heart,
– But you can hold my Deez Nuts!
#21
Don’t sit on that!
– Sit on what?
SIT ON Deez Nuts!
#22
Do you guys want some of my goodies?
– Yes, we do!
Okay, here’s a bag of good Deez Nuts!
#23
You will never guess who I saw hanging out together.
– Who?
Deez Nuts!
#24
What is your favourite day of the week? Mine is Wednesday.
– I don’t know. Why Wednesday?
Because that’s the only day when you can eat Deez Nuts.
#25
Do you know Mr. Felfor that lives next door?
– Mr. Feltfor? I don’t think so. Why?
Because you FELL FOR DEEZ NUTS!
#26
How did your doctor’s appointment go?
– It was OK, but I have a vitamin D deficiency. I need to spend more time outside.
I can help you to get that D.
-How?
I’m willing to give you some of Deez Nuts!
#27
“Honeys be like “Meth”; I be like “What?”
– “We want some free CDs”; I be like “See Deez Nuts!”
#28
Knock, knock.
-Who’s there?
-It’s your boy Dee, open up!
-Dee, who? -Deez nuts!
#29
Do you like boats?
-Yes.
What is your favorite type of boat?
-I like fishing boats.
How about tugboats?
-They are powerful
Tug on Deez Nutz
#30
“Hey, man are you leaving? Leaving what?
– LEAVING DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH”.
#31
Knock, knock! – Who’s there?
It’s your boy Dee, open up!Dee, who? Deez Nuts!
#32
Have you ever heard about the Russian millionaire Ivan Putindese?
– Ivan Putindese?
Yes, the Ivan PutinDEEZ Nuts!
#33
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Candice!
Candice who?
Candice nuts fit in your mouth?
#34
OMG Guys! Did you hear what happened to Justin?
– Justin time for Deez Nutz!
#35
You know where Norway is?
– Norway Deez Nuts can fit in yo mouth!
#36
Excuse me, do you sell Foshake?
– Foshake? I don’t think so?
Foshake Deez Nuts!
#37
Can you imagine dragons flying in the sky?
Yes, I can.
Then Imagine dragging Deez Nuts across your mouth.
#38
Wanna join me on a trip to The Andes? -The Andes? Where’s that supposed to be? It’s right next to the valley of An Deez Nuts!
#39
Teacher: I’m sorry, but I’ve graded your paper, and I’m going to have to give you a D.
Student: Well, I’m sorry too, because I need to give you Ds also.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: Deez Nuts!
#40
What is your favorite animation studio?
That’s easy, Walt Deez Nutz!
#41
Do you like parodies?
Yes, sometimes.
Then you’ll love it when I give you a pair of Deez Nuts!
#42
I can’t believe that Sophia speaks Ligondese.
Ligondese?
Yes, Lig-on-dese Nuts!
#43
Sometimes I miss cassette tapes.
Well, if you want, I cassette Deez Nuts on your face.
#44
What’s your favorite Pokémon?
Rhydon
Then come and Rhydon Deez Nuts!
#45
Did you just get beaten up by a Pokémon trainer?
Shut up!
He really Hitmontop Deez Nuts
#46
Come to the Dark Side; we’ve got Deez Nuts!
#47
Anakin got mad because he couldn’t handle the weight of… Deez Nuts
#48
I’d like to get Princess Leia on Deez Nuts
#49
Feeling Drowzee? Rest your head on Deez Nuts!
#50
What’s the most nervous Pokémon?
Bewear Deez Nuts!
Also Read:
Double Meaning Jokes SMS or Double Meaning Messages are those Jokes SMS Messages which have two meanings. These messages are used to mislead somebody which is why it’s referred to as dual meaning chutkule. In case you are looking for some very funny Double Meaning jokes then you might be in the right place.
Now we have an assortment of double-meaning textual content messages and jokes. Hope you’ll like these twin-meaning jokes and for those who like this please suggest this page to your friends. Have fun and luxuriate in your stay right here. Ship these double-meaning joke messages to your good friend’s mobile.
Double Meaning Jokes for Friend
1
Lady in bus: – aapka kuchch touch ho raha hai.
Adami: – oh, vo meri salary hai pocket mein.
Lady : – saale haraami ! teri salary 5 mint mein 3 gun badh gayi ?:
2
Sunny leone Comedy nights with kapil mein aayi
to ek darhsak ne kaha “main aap ka bahut bada prashanshak hoon.
mainne aapaki saari filmein dekhi hain.
kya main aapake saath aap ki film ka ek step kar sakta hoon?
is par siddhu ne kaha
“Guru, har peela phool aam nahin hota, har seeta ka pati ram nahin hota.
thodi jeb dheeli karo aur hotal ka kharcha, kyoki ye vo step hai
jo khule aam nahin hota. thoko.
3
Ladka: aaj bada pyaar aa raha hai…
Ladki: jaanu, tum aaj mujhase ek waada karo
Ladka: jo tumhaara dil kare… vo maang lo
Ladki: baby, wo jo saamane laal rang ki Car khadi hai na..
Ladka: haan…haan.. Ladki: jaanu, mujhe wo doge kya!
Ladka: main tumhe usee laal rang ki lipistick doonga
4
Santa bank me manager ban gaya
achanak bank me daaku aa gaye
Daaku santa se: pent utaar
Santa: maarna mat utarta hu.
Daaku: ab hath utha
santa ne daaku pe 4 thappad jad die
Daaku: Are saale maar kyon rha hai?
Santa darte hue.
bhai apne hi to bola hath utha 
5
Sheela – sir aaj kuchh naya padhaiyee
Teacher – bachchon har baat ke do matalab nikalate hain
Sheela – nikaal ke dikhaiyee sir
Teacher – Baith ja beti
Teri is baat ke bhi do matalab nikalte hain
6
Patni: Nashta Karlo.
Husband: Sx hi Mera nashta hai. (Aur pati sx karne lag jata haj)
Dopahar ko Patni: Lunch Karlo.
Husband: Sx hi Mera lunch hai, • (Aur pati sx kame lag Jata haj)
(Raat k0 jab pati ghar aata hai toh Patni panty utaar kar
heater ke aago baithi hoti haj)
Husband: Ye kya hai
Patni : Hawas ke pujari khana
garam kar rahi hun.
7
Chati se chati mili, mila ched se ched, ghasa ghas hone lage, nikla safed safed, batao kya?
Ans. Aata chakki
8
Aurat bade pyar se kholti hai aur ek anjan admi bade pyar se karta hai batao kya?
Ans – aurat bde pyar se darwaja kholti hai aur admi use namaste karta hai?
9
What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Ans – Heart
10
Who is the best goalkeeper in the world?
All women since they never allow balls to enter.
Also Read: Sunny Leone’s Snazzy Look in an All Black Avatar is a Mid-Week Treat for Your Eyes! (View Pics)
Double Meaning Jokes for Girlfriend
1
Boyfriend- Achanak bola:
Mujhe AIDS hai..
Girlfriend- KYA?
Boy- Ghabrao Mat…
Me mazaak kar raha hu,
Bas tumhari tight karni thi..
2
Chotu: Auntyji, you have a Bungalow, Cars, Bank balance, Nauker-Chaaker..,
Aap karti Kya Hai..??
Sunny Leone replies:-
Bas Beta, Ek Chhota Sa ‘HOLE-SALE’ ka Business hai.
3
Feeling bored?
Wondering, what to do?
Open the zip!
Enter your hands in between your zip..
take out your..
book from your bag and study.
4
1 Lady Travel Agent ke Pass Gayi, Aur Kaha ke Mujhe Honey Moon Ke Bilkul Saste Package Batao
Travel Agent: 50 Thousand Me 3 Countries, &
25 Thousand Me 1 Country
Lady: Aur Koi Is Se Sasta.?
Travel Agent: Ek Package Bilkul Free Hai…
Lekin Usmein Husband Hamaari Company Ka Hoga..!
5
Sharma ji ki party me dinner
karte hue Verma ji ke
pas
Mrs Sharma akar boli:
Bhaisaab, apne
to kuch liya hi nahi!”
Or 1
chicken ka leg-piece utha ke unki plate mein rakh diya.
Party khatam hone par Sharma ji ne
Verma ji se puchha:
“Khana kaisa tha?”
Verma Ji: Dishes to sabhi badiya
thi, par end mein bhabhi ji ne jo taang utha ke di, maza aa gaya!
6
Girl to doctor: Meri Umar 17 saal hai aur meri skin bohat soft aur sensitive hai.. Mera rang bhi bohat gora hai.. mein raat ko kya laga kar soya karun?
Doctor: KUNDI 
7
BF: I wanna kiss on Your Lips
GF: Upper Lips? or Lower Lips
BF: What?
GF: Horizontal Lips? or vertical Lips?
BF: I didn’t Understand
GF: Jaa Beta Jaake Pogo dekh.
8
Dulhan: Aaa Aaa… Dard ho raha hai, aaram se karo!
Dulha: Kuch nahi hoga… bas tum das tak gino… mein nikaal lunga.
Dulhan: 1, 2 Aah 3, 4, 5, Aah 6, 7 Aah, 8 Aah, 8 Vaao, 8, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4.. !!
9
Adhyapika: Baccho aaj hum vyakaran padhenge, to batao ek aurat ek khidki se jhaank rahi hai, ye kya hai!
Pappu: Madam Ji ye ek vachan hua!
Adhyapika: Accha Pappu, ab tum batao bahut se auraten khidki se jhaank rahi hain!
Pappu: kuch der sochne ke baad madam ye to Ra*di bazar hai!
10
Patni: Mein jabgaana gaati hun to tum bahar kyun khadi ho jaate ho!
Pati: Taaki logon ko ye na lage ki mein tumhare saath jabardasti kar raha hun!
Double Meaning Jokes for Boyfriend
1
Boy: Tumhari Car Kaisi Chal Rahi Hai?
Girl: Theek Chal Rahi Hai.
Boy: Aaj Shaam Ko Dogi Kya?
Girl: Haan Le Lena, But Ye Toh Batao Car Ke Baare Mein hi Kyun Pooch rahe ho Ya???
2
Bathroom Mein, 1 Boy Ne 1 Girl Ko Har Jagah Touch Kiya.
kya Tum Jaante Ho Ke Woh Boy Kaun Hai?……..Nahi….Woh Hai LIFEBOY!!!
3
Sex Karne Ke Baad Husband Bola: Darling, Airtel ka BALANCE Khatam Ho Gaya..!!–Itne Me Padosi Ka Baccha Apni chaddi utar Ke bola: Aunty VODAFONE ka chota recharge chalega..??
4
Wife- Bohot Machhar kaat rahe hain.
Misba Ul Haq- Goodnight ya All Out?
Wife- Goodnight laga do. All out to aap roz hi hote ho.
5
Teacher: What came 1st Sun or Moon ???
Santa: obviously Moon..
Teacher: How?
Santa: Madam ji Honey’moon’ hoga tabhi to ‘Son’ ayega na !
6
Girl: If you will propose me with shortest sentence ever then only I will accept
..
..
Boy: DEGI?
7
What is the thing that a man hides and women shows while walking?
Answer – Purse
8
Woh kya hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
Ans. Pocket.
9.
Why are women more talkative than men?
Because they have four lips.
10
Boy: Mujhse Shaadi Karlo Mera Bahut Lamba hai!
Girl: Kyaa??
Boy: Anubhav
Girl: Ohh Thik Hai, Mein Taiyaar Hun Mera Bhi Kaafi Gehra Hai
Boy: Kyaa??
Girl – Aatmavishwas
11
Saas: Ye bartan kisne tode…
Bahu: Ji hamari ladai hogayi thi…
Saas: Accha to ye palang kaise tuta…
Bahu: Ji haamara samjhauta hogaya tha!!
12
Badi behen honeymoon par gayi!
Choti ne message kiya, didi jo jeans di thi, usse jarur pehanana!
Didi ne jawab diya, iss haramkhor ne 4 din se chaddi nahi pehanane di, aur tujhe jeans ki padi hai?
13
A beautiful lady was speaking to a General at a party:
Lady: When was the last time you had sex?
General: 1945.
Lady: Oh my God! How about some now ?
General: [Looks at his watch] No, I’m cool. It’s only 2030.
14.
Tujhe Dekh Ke
Khara Hota Hai
Meri Hasraton ka Minaar…
Wah Wah…
Ab Jhuk Jara Daal Dun
Tere Gale Mein Phoolon Ka Haar…
Be Positive
Mere yaar…
15.
Biwi Ko Din Mein Karoge To Vo Sust Rahegi…
Sham Ko Karoge To Chust Rahegi…
Roj Karoge To Tandrust Rahegi…
Karte Rahoge To Khush Rahegi…
“Office Se Sirf 1 Call”
16.
Sunny Leone is casted in the sequel of
Hum Aapke Hain Kaun… With Family Song…
Bhabhi Tum Khushiyon ka Khajan…
Dicckk Tana Dik tana a dck tana!
Funny Double Meaning Jokes
1
Girl: Bas Kro Aur Kitna Karoge Raat Ke
12 Baje Se Kar Rahe Hain Ab Subha Ho Gyi Hai
Thake Nhi Kya…???
Boy: Ye To Kuch Nhi, Ab Main To Din Raat
Karunga Qki Mere To 3000 Sms Free Hai…!!!
2
Usne Utaari Saree, Fir Aayi Paticoat Ki Bari, Blouse To Pahle Hi Diya Tha Utar…!!!
;;
;;
;;
Zayda Excited Mat Ho Yaar, Yeh Tha Kapray
Sukhane Ka Taar…
3
Ladkiyan apas me Gale Milte waqt
Kya Sochti Hai…??
Is Ke To Mujh se Bhi Zyada “Bade” Ho
Gye hai…!!
;;
;;
;;
Pta nhi kaunsa shampoo use karti hai, “BAALON” pe…!!!
Also Read: 50+ Most Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry
4
Girl: Kal raat to hadd he ho gayi, Uff 2 ghante! meri to jaan he nikal gayi
Saare kapre geele ho gaye
Pehle to ek ghanta karte the
Magar kal to poore 2 ghante tak bina ruke kiya
1 Ghanta hi buhat tha
.
.
.
ye 2 Ghante ki Load Shedding to jaan he nikal leti hai.
5
Ek Aurat Auto Rukwa Kar Paise
Pay Karte-
Karte Doosre Auto Mein Baith Gayi
.
Pehla Auto Wala Hadbadi Mein
Jaldi-Jaldi Se Bola.
Auto Wala: “Ye Kya Baat Hui,
Madam?
Khada Aapne Mera
Karwaya, Aur Chadd Doosre Par
Gayi?“
6
14 Saal Ka Ladka Apne Pados Ki Aunty Se Puchhta Hai,
Ladka: “Aunty, Ladkiyon Ko 12 Saal Ki Umar Mein Bachcha Hota Hai Kya?”
Aunty: “Nahi”
Ladka: “To Fir Apni Beti Ko Samjhao Na, Faltu Mein Condom Ka Kharcha Karwati Hai“
7
Wo kaun si cheez hai jisme ladkiyaan ladke se kahti hai aur jyada andar daalo?
Answer- sui me dhaga
8
What starts with an ‘S’ and ends with a ‘K’ and you can’t enjoy it until you put it in your mouth?
Snack.
9
My friend told me, he was working on a special Project “Aqua Thermal treatment of Ceramics, Aluminium, and Steel under a constrained environment”
I was impressed.
Later when I come to know that idiot was washing utensils in warm water, under the supervision of his wife !!
10
I was flying Lufthansa from New Delhi to Vienna. It’s a long, 8 hr flight and mine was a late night one.
Most of the air hostesses were blue eyed blondes for the exception of one lady who was a bit older, perhaps in her 40s.
So people were settling in to sleep while I was still finishing my dinner and many people kept calling for the hostesses, some for water, some for blankets..
The blondes were quite pretty. I pressed the flight call attendant button hoping one of them would turn up and I’d perhaps strike up a conversation as I wasn’t sleepy.
But the older lady turned up for me. So I just told her that they are doing a great job and I’m enjoying my flight with them. She paused for a second and looked at me intently and said, “thanks, but is there something you want young man?”
I took a moment. And then quietly said :
“I’d love to have another one of these mango mousses”
She smiled, went back and got me TWO.
11
Papp galli mein peshab kar raha tha…
Tabhi vahan se ek ladki nikli…
Pappu ko peshab karta dekhkar…
Ladki vahan ruk gayi…
Pappu – Dariya mat!
Aap jissase dar rahi hain
usse mene pakad rakha hai!
12
Tu ameer ghar ki ladki hai isliye shayad tere itna bade hain…
Tere inn badon ke chakkar mein mere armaan khade hain.
13
A young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share the good news with someone. The gentleman sitting next to her seemed as good as anyone to share the good news with.
Sir, she said, I just received the best news you could ever imagine. I have to share it with someone or I’ll bust. She told him the news that the doctor had told her about being pregnant.
The man shared her enthusiasm as he shared his experience. He said he was a farmer and he had trouble with his hens laying eggs. He stated that he went out to the hen house one morning and all of his hens had laid eggs. He was so happy. he added, “but confidentially, I changed cocks.”
The newly pregnant woman responded, “Confidentially, me too.”
14
Baap apne bete the result lene school gaya!
Baap: Madam kab dogi? Kaafi der se mera Pappu khada hai.
Madam: Period To Khatam Hone Do!
Jokes
101+ Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry (Exclusive)
Over 101 hilarious jokes guaranteed to make you cry with laughter, featuring adult humor suited for an 18+ audience.
Laughing is essential in life and this sense, Jokes play an important role in tickling. Start your day with these 100+ Most Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry. These Hilarious Jokes, we have gathered for you by the suggestions from our team members. Hope you will like our collection of 100+ “Most Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry”. These one-liners would also make great custom t-shirts to gift to your friends or to express your geeky and comical side.
101 Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry
- What do you call a hippie’s wife? A Mississippi!
- What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? Put it on my bill!
- I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
- What condition does a noodle have when it doesn’t feel like it’s good enough? – Impasta Syndrome!
- Dear life, when I said “Can my day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
- I’m so tired of saying “Oh shit, my mask…”. Like I’m Batman or some shit.
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent
- What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie.
- What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.
- What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!
- What do cows read the most? Cattle-logs.
- What did 0 say to 8? “Nice belt.”
- Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties? Because they are such fungis.
- What does a spy do when he is cold? He goes undercover.
- What would bears be without bees? Ears.
- What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.
- What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.
- What did one toilet say to another? You look flushed.
- What do sprinters eat before they race? Nothing. They fast.
- What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
- What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
- Where did the computer go dancing? The disc-o!
- What do bees do if they need a ride? Wait at the buzz stop!
- Why can you never hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.
- How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
- What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemon aid!
- What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain? Hi Cliff!
- One night an aeroplane was burglarized, and all the toilet paper was stolen. When the police came to investigate, their report was inconclusive, because they had nothing to go on.
- What did the fish say when he hit the wall? DAM!
- Maybe money can’t buy happiness, but I think it’s only fair to give to me learn that lesson myself.
- I admit that my level of weirdness is above the average, but i’m comfortable with it.
- What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
One-Liner Jokes
- My friend’s in prison for flashing; he says he can’t bare it anymore.
- I said to my friend, “Let’s take turns naming American vice-presidents, Al Gore first.”
- My friend’s selling a load of broken yo-yos, no strings attached.
- I tried drag racing the other day; it’s murder trying to run in those heels.
- I went geese hunting the other day but once they started flying I knew the game was up.
- What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels
- Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
- Where does the general put his armies? In his sleeves.
- What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.
- How did the two cats end their fight? They hissed and made up.
- How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut!
- I was a bookkeeper for 10 years… the local library wasn’t too happy about it.
- It’s really important to obey the laws of grammar, after all, rules are rules.
- Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.
Hilarious Jokes for Adults
- Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. – They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch.
- Someone asked the other day how you spell “scrotum”, I replied ” you should have asked me last night as it was on the tip of my tongue”
- What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes
- What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis? A penis
- A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
- I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around.
- You don’t need a driver license to ride me.
- My entire life can be summed up in one sentence… “well that didn’t f*cking go as planned.”
- I come from a place where “keep talking” means you better shut the fuck up.
- The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
- My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
- My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
- If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
- What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? A PDF file
- How is virginity like a soap bubble? One prick and it’s gone
- How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating.
- How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
- What do you do when your cat’s dead? Play with the neighbor’s pussy instead.
- What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
- I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except for one person.
- My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
- Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells!
Hilarious Jokes for Teens
- What did the French teacher say to the class? I don’t know I couldn’t understand her.
- Why couldn’t the teacher control her pupils? She couldn’t find her glasses.
- What did the tomato say to the ketchup bottle? How you doin’ brother?
- What can you catch but not throw? Your breath.
- What did the chef say to make the raw potato laugh? This is going to be your last roast.
- For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
- “The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.”
- “They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at their chalk outline.”
Also Read: 40+ Funny Dirty Jokes of the Day
- What gets sharper the more you use it but dull if you don’t use it at all? Students
- What’s the difference between the ACT and SAT? One letter.
- What do a school and a plant have in common? STEM.
- What do you do if there is a kidnapping at high school? You wake him up.
- I’m mostly “Peace, Love and Light” and a little “Go F*ck Yourself “
Hilarious Jokes for Kids
Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
A: Do you smell carrots?
Q: Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: She will Let It Go.
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park?
A: They woke him up.
Q: Why is there a fence around a cemetery?
A: People are dying to get in.
Q: What music frightens balloons?
A: Pop music.
Q: What did the policeman say to his belly button?
A: You’re under a vest.
Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he never lands.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.
Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over-swept.
We hope you’ve loved reading our collection of 100+ Best Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry.
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