Jokes
50+ New Dirty Jokes of the Day (2023 Update) | Best Funny Jokes for Adults
Dirty Jokes are the jokes, which you cannot share with anyone, like with your Relatives. But for impressing anyone, you can share those. So, if you’re looking for Dirty Jokes for adults, Funny New Dirty jokes, Best dirty jokes, Dirty joke of the day, then here you’re at the perfect place for this, here we came up with “50+ Funny Dirty Jokes of the Day” you can share these Dirty, Funny, New Dirty Jokes of the Day with your Girlfriend, Wife, Crush or with Friend to make him/her a laugh and also if you are interested in doing something hot, and sexy you can share these Jokes to give him/her a hint.
Table of Contents
New Dirty jokes
Wife asks her husband: “How many women have you ever slept with?”
Husband responds: “One, two, three, four, you, five, six… six total”
My mom thinks I’m gay, can anybody help me prove that she is wrong?
What does one b**b say to the other b**b?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
Congratulations! You’ve been voted “Most Beautiful Girl In This Room” and the grand prize is a night with me!
What is six inches long, two inches wide, and makes everyone go crazy?
A $100 bill.
Two different fish swim into a wall… One turns to the other and says, “Dam!
What is the difference between LOVE, TRUE LOVE & SHOWING OFF?
Answer – SPITTING, SWALLOWING, & GARGLING.
A boy told his mom, “I couldn’t sleep last night so I went to your room. Why were you jumping up and down on daddy?”
His mom said, “Well dear i was pushing the air out of him.”
The boy replied, “Oh, then you’re wasting your time. The lady next door blows him up every day.”
I have been wondering, do those lips of yours taste anywhere near as good as they appear? Probably not.
What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion? “It’s not what it looks like!”
What’s the process of applying for a job at Hooters? They just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out.”
A women hasn’t has s*x with her husband in years, so he takes her to the doctor.
The doctor takes her into the exam room, but he determines that she’s healthy and that there is nothing physically wrong with her.
So he asks her what could be preventing her from having sex with her husband.
She replies, “Well, every morning, my husband gives me money for work, but it only covers my first bus there. So I get in the cab and the driver asks, “So you’ve a money of ride today, or what?”
“So I end having s*x with the cab driver to cover my fare.”
“Then, I arrive to work late and my boss calls me into office and says, “You’re late again, am I gonna fire you, or what?
“So I have s*x with my boss to keep my job.”
“Then I don’t have any money for lunch, so that’s another “or what” with the
cafeteria manager.”“I come back from lunch late, so that’s another “or what” with my boss again.”
“Then I leave to go home, another cab, another “or what”.”
“So by the time I get back to my house, I’m just completely exhausted.”
“So, do you wanna tell your husband, or what?”
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because they won’t stop to ask for directions.
Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
What’s the difference between your pen*s and a bonus check? Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
It’s a sunny day at the pond. What does the frog say today? “Rub it”.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One is a good year. The other is a great year.
What does the female receptionist say at the sperm bank? Thanks for coming here today!
They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation to see if it’s true?
Are you an elevator? Because don’t mind going up and down with you all day long.
Also Share: 50+ Best Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids and Adults
Funny New Dirty jokes for Adults
Wife: Darling Do I please you in bed?
Hubby: Yes, I love the trick you do with your mouth.
Wife: What trick?
Hubby: The one where you shut the f*ck and go to sleep.
“Give it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled. “I’m so wet, give it to me now!” She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
“I bet you can’t tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time,” a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, “Your …. is bigger than your brother’s.”
A D*ck has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his next-door neighbour is an a**hole, his best friend is a p*ssy, and his owner beats him habitually.
My girlfriend tried to get me excited on the hood of her Honda Civic. But I refused. If I’m going to do this, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to making love, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
Best New Dirty jokes
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, “S*x! S*x! S*x! Free s*x tonight!” I said, “Wow!” Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his lap. A woman passing by remarks, “If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady.” He replies, “If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself.”
Do you want to hear a joke about my vagina? Never mind. You’ll never get it!
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
Having s*x in an elevator is wrong, on so many levels.
Why is masturbation just like procrastination? It’s all good until you realize you’re only screwing yourself.
Hilarous New Dirty Jokes
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, “Frankie Brown showed me his w*enie today at the playground!” Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, “It reminded me of a peanut.” Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally’s mom asked, “Really small, was it?” Sally replied, “No, salty.” Mom fainted.
Also Share: 25+ I Love you Quotes and Messages for him & her
“Babe is it in?” “Yea.” “Does it hurt?” “Uh huh.” “Let me put it in slowly.” “It still hurts.” “Okay, let’s try another shoe size.”
S*x is like a burrito, don’t unwrap or that baby’s in your lap.
New Dirty jokes of the day
“I’ve never laughed a woman into bed, but I’ve laughed one out of bed many times.”
The naughty boy draws a p*nis on a blackboard. Lady teacher rubs it off. The next day he draws a bigger one and writes: “REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS!
My mom thinks I`m gay, can you help me prove her wrong?
Your butt is nice but it would be nicer if it was on my lap.
Congratulations! You’ve been voted “Most Beautiful Girl In This Room” and the grand prize is a night with me!
How is sex like a game of bridge? If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lick-a-lotta-puss.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
Want to know why they say eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life? Because if you eat that stuff, you’re sure to eat anything.
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
Why do women have orgasms? Just another reason to moan, really.
What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years, your job will still suck.
What did one of the prostitute’s knees say to the other? How come we spend so little time together?
What do you call two men fighting over a slut? Tug-of-whore.
How is a woman like a road? They both have manholes.
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common? They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.