Love in Recovery: A Guide to dating sober

For many, dating and drinking go hand in hand. Going on a first date sees many people endure a bit of “Dutch courage” before even meeting their date, and then those dates often occur over drinks and dinner.

But that can’t be the case for those who are sober or in alcohol addiction recovery. In fact, falling off the wagon on the first date is the worst possible start to a relationship.

It can be a big step entering the dating world after coming out of rehab. In fact, many alcohol rehab centres find that one of the more common concerns going through therapy for alcohol addiction is getting back out into the dating world, for the singletons anyway.

So, how do you date sober and having gone through recovery?

Firstly, restart your relationship with yourself

Your previous relationships, particularly when you were suffering from addiction will be very different to a new relationship, sober. But one of the first things you need to do is nurture the relationship you have with yourself.

Many people wait a year during their recovery to process their new life, how best they cope and the most efficient way to control emotions, and it’s only when you have done that, that you’ll be ready to put yourself back out there in a dating capacity.

Dating comes with its own stresses, and being dumped or ghosted can happen, and that can trigger relapse, which is the last thing you want.

Think about where to go on a date

There’s no right or wrong place to go on a first date, but the go-to is often a bar, so ask yourself is whether you’re ok with that. Temptation will be there from the off, and even while you may not be drinking or asked if you want an alcoholic drink, your senses will pick up on the atmosphere.

Alternative activities are always a good option. After all, you can have the same level of conversation in a coffee shop than you can a beer. And probably a more coherent one too if neither of you are drinking. Walks in the park, mini golf, bowling are all good options, while there are tons more too, which will make you feel more at ease.

Disclosing you don’t drink

For many people in recovery, that’s their number one priority and rightly so. You need to protect your recovery, so there’s nothing to be ashamed about in stating from the off you’re not a drinker.

Many online dating apps these days require you to fill out if you drink or take drugs on your profile. So be honest about that, and some you can even filter them to also look for people who don’t drink, which really does resolve any worries you may have.

Dealing with the downs

You absolutely need to be ready to deal with the downsides of relationships. Nobody on the planet can say their love life is 100% positive and straightforward, and when it comes to dating there will be people you meet that aren’t quite right for you, or vice versa.

The best way to deal with any problems, stresses or anxieties you may have is to have a close support network who can be there to talk to and get advice from. Even be that shoulder to cry on. Because what you don’t want is to go looking for answers at the bottom of a glass…