Jokes
100+ Extremely Funny Coffee Jokes for the Caffeine Enthusiasts
Coffee, a brewed drink has a long history. As per some historical texts, it was discovered by Ethiopian goat-herder Kaldi in the 9th century. Through the years, it has become one of the most demanded brewed drinks all around the world. According to Global Coffee Consumption 2020/21 reports by statista, around 166.63 million 60 kilogram bags of coffee were consumed worldwide in the previous year. Talking about its health benefits, coffee boosts longevity. Coffee is the instant source of energy and the biggest source of antioxidants in the diet. It can also help one lose weight by burning belly fat. Coffee is super-beneficial in lowering the risk of several diseases including – Cancer, Stroke, Parkinson’s disease.
In almost every office, there is a famous phrase “Coffee is Life”, there are millions of quotes and facts available at Google on Coffee, which highlights the importance of coffee in one’s life.
If you’re also a Coffee lover and looking for some extremely funny Coffee Jokes then here you’re at the right place. Here we have made a list of 100+ Hilarious Funny Coffee Jokes, which also includes Starbucks Jokes, Barista Jokes, Dad Coffee Jokes, Clean Coffee Jokes, and Some Dirty Coffee Jokes.
Coffee Jokes
Which song by The Beatles is great to listen to while having coffee? It definitely has to be ‘Latte Be’!
What special method did Moses do while making his morning coffee? Hebrews it!
Why did the hipster always burn his tongue while drinking coffee? Because he always drank it before it was cool!
Why was the coffee afraid of going out on the lonely street at night? Because he is always getting mugged!
Why did the coffee visit the police station and file a report? Because he was mugged by a barista!
How did the coffee laugh when it visited a stand-up comedy show? It laughed like brew-hahaha!
How do the coffee parents punish their naughty kids? The parents always grounded the kids when they created mischief!
You call it coffee. I call it my emotional support beverage.
When the coffee goes down, the eyelids go up!
Bad day? Coffee
Good day? Coffee
Stressed? Coffee
Happy? Coffee
Inspired? Coffee
Coffee? Coffee.
The 5 love languages
Affirmation: Your coffee is delicious.
Acts of service: I made you coffee.
Receiving Gifts: Here’s a coffee.
Quality time: Let’s go out for coffee.
Physical Touch: Let me hold you like a coffee.
You there! Bring me COFFEE and I shall let you live…today.
I always have a well-balanced breakfast of coffee and more coffee.
Funny Coffee Jokes
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, “Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me!”
“Excuse me while I kiss the chai.” – This Jimi Hendrix song is often misheard as “excuse me while I kiss this guy” – but what if it was about coffee instead?
You laugh, I laugh. You Cry, I Cry. You take my coffee, I kill you.
I’m a Friday person in a Monday world.
To Do List:
1. Drink Coffee
2. Avoid Slapping stupid people
3. Repeat steps 1 & 2
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
Shhhhhhhh…
My COFFEE & I are having a moment
I will deal with you later.
I don’t drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee.
Also Check: 100+ Extremely Funny Dieting Jokes: Hilarious Keto Jokes for Losing Weight
Starbucks Jokes
While at Starbucks, I said I didn’t want the sippy cup lip.
They gave me my drink and said “this is the last straw.”
What did Julius Caesar say when he went to Starbucks?
Veni vidi venti!!
TIL that Starbucks makes special masks that let you drink through them.
The masks are called coughy filters.
Starbucks is missing out on a huge business opportunity by NOT selling masks that you can drink through.
They could call them coughy filters.
Starbucks has announced that they are now adding a surcharge to any customer displaying Coronavirus symptoms.
Relax. It’s just a “Cough Fee.”
When picking up the coffee you ordered at Starbucks, always be appreciative and polite.
Be sure to say, “Thanks, a latte!”
Barista Jokes
Barista: How do you take your coffee?
Me: Very, very seriously.
What did the barista’s Valentine say?
I can’t espresso my love for you.
A tall blonde walks into Starbucks. The barista says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”
The blonde says, “You have a drink named Tiffani?”
“Hey barista, how much for a cup of coffee?” says a customer.
“Two dollars,” replies the barista, “and refills are free.”
“Great. Then I’ll have a refill,” answers the customer.
What’s a barista’s favourite morning mantra? Rise and grind!
What’s a barista’s favourite exercise at the gym? The French press.
Coffee Dad Jokes
Dad likes his iced coffee like he likes the thermostat: COLD.
What happens if you touch Dad’s coffee? You’ll be grounded!
Don’t talk to Dad before he’s had his espresso or he’ll lose his tamper.
You: Dad, this coffee tastes like dirt.
Dad: That’s not surprising. It was just ground this morning.
Dad walks into a restaurant: How much is a cup of coffee?
Waitress: $2
Dad: What about refills?
Waitress: They’re free.
Dad: I’ll just take a refill, please.
Dad: Your mom was supposed to meet me for coffee at 11, but she didn’t show up until noon. I guess better latte than never.
Also Read: Laughter Medicine: 50+ Best Weight Loss Jokes & Puns to help you reduce your weight
Clean Coffee Jokes
Why did the coffee call the police?
Because it was mugged.
When do mechanics drink coffee?
When they are on a brake…
Why did the rabbit stop drinking coffee?
It made it too jumpy.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe.
How are coffee beans like children?
They’re always getting grounded.
What happened when the Starbucks customer ordered a coffee to go.
The coffee got up and left.
What’s goes along with coffee during the winter?
Sneezy.