Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry
- What do you call a hippie’s wife? A Mississippi!
- What did the duck say when she bought a lipstick? Put it on my bill!
- I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
- What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
- Where did the computer go dancing? The disc-o!
- What do bees do if they need a ride? Wait at the buzz stop!
- What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemon aid!
- What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain? Hi Cliff!
Hilarious One Liner Jokes
My friend’s in prison for flashing; he says he can’t bare it anymore.
I said to my friend, “Let’s take turns naming American vice-presidents, Al Gore first.”
My friend’s selling a load of broken yo-yos, no strings attached.
I tried drag racing the other day; it’s murder trying to run in those heels.
I went geese hunting the other day but once they started flying I knew the game was up.
I was at
a climbing center the other day, but someone had stolen all the grips from the wall; honestly, you couldn’t make it up.
I was a bookkeeper for 10 years… the local library weren’t too happy about it.
It’s really important to obey the laws of grammar, after all rules is rules.
Hilarious Jokes for Adults
- Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. – They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch.
- Someone asked the other day how you spell “scrotum”, I replied ” you should have asked me last night as it was on the tip of my tongue”
- What does tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes
- What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis? A penis
- What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? A PDF file
- How is virginity like a soap bubble? One prick and it’s gone
- How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating.
- How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
Hilarious Jokes for Teens
- What did the French teacher say to the class? I don’t know I couldn’t understand her.
- Why couldn’t the teacher control her pupils? She couldn’t find her glasses.
- What did the tomato say to the ketchup bottle? How you doin’ brother.
- What did the chef say to make the raw potato laugh? This is going to be your last roast.
- What gets sharper the more you use it but dull if you don’t use it at all? Students
- What’s the difference between the ACT and SAT? One letter.
- What does a school and a plant have in common? STEM.
- What do you do if there is a kidnapping at high school? You wake him up.
Hilarious Jokes for Kids
Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
A: Do you smell carrots?
Q: Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: She will Let It Go.
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park?
A: They woke him up.
Q: Why is there a fence around a cemetery?
A: People are dying to get in.
Q: What music frightens balloons?
A: Pop music.
Q: What did the policeman say to his belly button?
A: You’re under a vest.
Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he never lands.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.
Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over-swept.