The key to a harmonious union – talk to each other, not follow advice from movies and social networks.

1. Melt into each other.

Duckfish fuse into one during the breeding process. For many, this is what an ideal relationship looks like: partners should spend all the time together, have only common interests, and be everything to each other. By the way, if you are looking for a strong relationship, the Eden app will help you with it. Just because people are together do not mean that they have one life for two and must give up everything that exists apart from the relationship. Each of the couples previously had their own goals, dreams, and hobbies that shaped their personalities. A harmonious relationship only adds new colors to life rather than forcing them to sacrifice what is precious.

2. Making up with sex.

Sex after an argument is considered very vivid, and there is scientific justification for this. Conflict can be perceived as a threat to the relationship. And this feeling triggers a kind of defense mechanism that motivates to restore a sense of intimacy and security through sex. That is, the partners are particularly aroused, and transform the strong emotions provoked by the conflict into sexual desire. It is no coincidence that sex after an argument is mentioned in one way or another in many movies and TV
series. But in the long run, such intimacy may not have good consequences. It is not for nothing that in English it is sometimes called make-up sex. There is nothing wrong with sex itself, the problems begin when it is used not in addition to, but instead of verbal reconciliation. After all, the issue that caused the quarrel doesn’t go anywhere and still needs to be discussed. Besides, there is a risk that one of the partners will deliberately provoke quarrels for the sake of sex after them.

3. Tolerate so as not to offend.

It seems like every other toast at weddings ends with “and most importantly, patience.” Many people take this as a pledge of a good relationship and steadfastly endure the discomfort. But long can not go on like this, sooner or later the dam of patience will break and dissatisfaction rushes to his partner. And he may not even be aware that the other is playing the hero. Let’s say a girl brings a guy breakfast in bed on his day off, and he doesn’t want to eat in bed. He wants to empty his bladder, brush his teeth, and have no one touches him for 10 minutes after he wakes up. But he appreciates caring and doesn’t want to
offend his beloved, so every weekend he chews what she has brought, gets angry, and then gets mad over some little thing. It seems like both want to make each other feel good, but in the end, no one feels good. Understanding your emotions and being able to label them, and talk to each other is much more important than tolerating, and also much more productive. You can click here now to find a good friend or life partner.

4. Custody of each other.

Any romantic social media sub-page is bursting with vanilla quotes about how a guy made a girl wear a hat. And “forced” is the key word here, implying sanctions up to and including assault. And in the comments, hundreds of people write, “What love!” The example is exaggerated, of course, but people sometimes go overboard in their attempts to “do good” to their loved ones. When partners care about each other, that’s great. But we shouldn’t forget that there are equal adults living together. No one has adopted or adopted anyone, and therefore everyone can figure out what to eat, what time to go to bed, and whether or not to wear a hat.

5. Compensate the consequences of a quarrel with gifts.

And again we dive into the world of social networks and romantic comedies, which make it clear: whatever you did, it can always be offset with expensive gifts or nice gestures. There was a conflict, but a bouquet of 100 roses or borscht goes and there is no conflict. All this looks spectacular from the outside, but it has nothing to do with solving the problems that caused the partners to quarrel because the contradictions go nowhere. On the other hand, this may lead to an unhealthy pattern of behavior, when
one partner behaves in any way he wants and then simply “pays him off”, and the other provokes conflicts for the sake of grand gestures and attention.

6. Using the lack of sex as punishment

In sitcoms and jokes, the subject of jokes is often a situation where a man has done something wrong and the woman refuses to have sex with him. And she voices the term, which depends on the extent of the transgression. It would seem that this plot has moved into the humorous genre because it has ceased to occur in life. But no, the forums are actively discussing how effective this method is. Moreover, both men
and women practice it. But sex is a process that involves two people. They both want it, and they both enjoy it. And when sex is used as a means of “conditioning,” it appears that only one person is interested in it. It is unpleasant to go to bed with this feeling, even in conflict-free times.

7. Keep score.

People are supposed to invest roughly equally in a relationship. But sometimes partners are too careful to make sure that the “contributions” are the same. One gives a gift, so the other owes one as well. If one forgets the partner’s request, he or she will get a kickback – his or her wish will also be ignored. Everything seems to be fair. But we are talking about a romantic relationship, not a market relationship. In a harmonious union, everyone wants to do better for himself and his partner. There is no need to settle scores here.

8. Consider jealousy a manifestation of love.

Popular wisdom says: “Jealousy means love. If a person does not trace every text message with a possessive glance and does not forbid communicating with people of the opposite sex, then he is not very keen on his partner. In such a case, it is sometimes advised to even deliberately set up situations so that he or she will get worried: let him or she understand that he or she can lose forever! On the other
hand, folk wisdom also says that hitting – means love, so you should not trust her in matters of relationships. Jealousy is a painful feeling that makes a person doubt himself and his partner, feel
vulnerable, and suffer. From time to time everyone faces it. And to worry about the fact that your partner does not suffer enough is not worth it. It has little to do with the power of love.

9. “Helping” your partner become a better person.

Some people build relationships according to the method of Papa Carlo: they find a person unsuitable for them and try to whittle him into a Pinocchio. Some people hope to change their partner through love, some hope to change him through pressure, which is even worse. Naturally, this is done with the best of intentions. With a little effort – and the lover will become more beautiful and cheerful, and even more brilliant and more promising. And here is a good time to remember that partners in a relationship are on an equal footing. And in general, one has no right to insist that the other change. You can talk to him about what you’re not satisfied with, and ask him to behave differently. But no one is obliged, for example, to change stomped sneakers for model shoes, because the other half likes them better. And if you start threatening, manipulating, and throwing out unwanted shoes secretly, it does not help, but violence.

10. Change so that your partner loves you more.

The phenomenon described in the previous paragraph has a flip side. Sometimes people want to conform to their partner’s desires so much that they try to transform themselves by breaking their knees. Nothing good comes out of this, of course. Because change should be for yourself, not for your partner. Otherwise, this can lead to lower self-esteem, internal conflicts, and even depression.